And once more i turn to my personal journal to attempt to vent the feelings inside. I guess this is why people have written diaries for centuries. Something about putting your thoughts into something more permanant seems to take away some of the burden.
And burdened I am indeed.
My mother is presently to be tested for a lump in her breast... And the docs opinion can be summed up thusly "If its good, its good, If its bad, then its Very bad." And thus I am relegated to a sea of troubles as my youngest sibling remains blissfully unaware his future may change dramatically, and the middle sibling resorts to some kind of bizarre coping mechanism involving suppression, sublimation and an 'I couldn't care' facade with humor.
I pray whatever drives things onwards in this world spares me of such a momentous upheaval in my life, as I have no idea what I would do should it transpire for the worst...
Attempting to continue as though its business as usual is getting harder...
/sigh