Urgh...

Surrounded but lonely...
Probably the worst feeling there is i suppose...

That all the people around you mean nothing and your isolation is deep and personal...
You cant even tell what it is thats isolating you...
But you know that its not going to go away...

Ive been without my music of days now...
All i have is fragments of my collection on some CDs...
I cant bring myself to listen to it anymore... despite how depressed i am without it...
I cant stand hearing it messed up by my fucked up headphones...
That makes me feel even more depressed... Its further proof of the gradual erosion of reality into eternity's abyss......

I'm sick of all the temporary fixes to my depression...
And I'm fucking fed up of having to hide it from my family...
All because Id have to explain to them the cause of the depression, something I realy do not want to do...
The fact is i realy cant bring myself to tell them...
Thats probably part of the problem i guess...